I was wrong.

2017.

Just as everyone in the planet thought, 2017 might be my year.

I was wrong.

It’s only been 3 months and a half into this year and my life has been a hectic roller coaster ride. Complicated feeling in January, unexpected life-turning event in February, angry and confused in March, another complicated thing happening this April. It’s true, you know, maybe hoping for nothing is the best way to avoid all these chaotic emotions. Stop trying to look for happiness and just trying to live this life.

But I know I can’t.

Maybe feeling something, no matter what is it, is still better than being empty and numb in the inside. That’s what I always remind myself of. At least problems bring you somewhere better, at least it set you free in the end. Avoiding things and stop yourself from taking risks will only make you a dead fish. I want to live, not just existing.

Maybe if I look back to my past now, I like it. All these madness around me will only shape me once again. I’ve been broken once, I know I’m not gonna be fragile this time. Not anymore.

I realized, I started to enjoy this ride.

x.

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